It’s OK to not be OK all the time.
I don’t know what it is about needing permission…
Is it a human thing? A woman thing? A mom thing?
I remember when I was pregnant and just about ready to pop with our first child. I was talking to a client about her experiences with breast feeding.
We spoke about her struggle to nurse her first child and how she felt like a failure. She just kept on trying, desperate to make it work, until one day when her doctor gave her permission to stop.
He told her, “It’s okay to supplement with formula for your baby to get nourishment. It’s okay. Stop trying to force your body to nurse.”
I remember she said that those words – in the form of permission – gave her such a release, and such a freedom, that she was finally able to enjoy her baby and feed her how she needed to.
When Dalton was born, I struggled with producing milk – my body just wasn’t complying. I remember feeling the pressure from all around, from other moms, nursing specialists, etc.
Take this, do this, have you tried this? What about this?
And then I remembered those words of permission…
It was okay to do whatever I needed to do for my baby! And man was he a hungry baby! I felt relief, and I no longer felt like a failure because my body wasn’t producing milk. What a relief!
I am telling you this friends, to give you permission. Permission to not be okay all the time. Permission to know that we don’t have to be “on” all the time. Permission to do what’s right for you – not anybody else.
Forget about anyone else’s expectations, and know that you can be you. And sometimes being you might mean not being okay.
I am not giving you permission to escape reality completely, but a day here and there will do your body some good!
Make sure that you have a support group. A good group of friends who can be there for you when you let them know that you are not okay. Those friends will help support you, pray for you, check on you, and just be there for you.
They will also let you know if you’ve gone past the point of no return.
While it is so very important and empowering to allow yourself time to grieve, time to reflect, time to rest, whatever is needed per your current situation – Don’t allow yourself to slip into a dark place.
If you feel as though you are going way past just “not okay”, reach out for help. Remember it is OK to not be OK, and it’s OK to tell someone! A friend, a counselor, someone at church. Just let them know “I am not OK and I need to talk to someone.”
Feel free to reach out to me! (link to contact page)
Sometimes just sharing our thoughts and our feelings can be all we need. Sometimes you may need a little more than just talking to someone. That’s OK too. Sometimes we just need someone to pour back into us. We can not give of ourselves all the time, without filling our cup back up.
Romans 15:13 speaks of being filled by God so that we can overflow onto others. Imagine an overflowing glass of water… Now start to poor that water into other glasses. What happens as you continue to pour? Yours becomes empty. The others become full.
We need to fill ourselves up in order to continue to help others. It’s so easy to put “us” on the back burner. I am giving you permission to fill up your cup. To enjoy that moment, to not answer that call, or not answer that text in the middle of your renewal time.
If you do this continually, you will see results. You will see that you have more to give to others. And remember – it’s okay to give yourself permission!
Want daily doses of encouragement and fun ways to practice self care? Click here. (ambermainquist.com/goodies)